Change is inevitable in life. As we grow up we learn more things and our view of the world adapts to the experiences that shape us. Although, we can be resistant to change once we get comfortable it is something we always have to go through. I wanted to take this blog post and talk about change when it comes to a spiritual practice; using my own practice as an example.

Where It All Began

I'm pretty open about when and how I started in regards to my practice, but it wasn't an exact starting line from 2009. Before I delved into spirit work on my own I used to be Newage. What? Syv? Newage?! You?! Yes, but I was a child. When I grew up I was surrounded by Newage rhetoric as such were the times. Sadly, I qualified for the indigo child title because I am autistic. I was lucky enough to have a mother who was smart enough to still get the help I needed with my autism despite whatever mystical things my grandma & her attributed to me, but I know there are people out there who weren't that lucky. What I remember of these times (let's say 2005ish ~ 2009) is that I saw colors around people's faces and one time my grandma, my mom, some other people & I did a prayer circle for archangel Gabriel to guide someone home. There were times a family member would get possessed by young children and I would talk to them and play with them until they had to leave. Of everything that happened during these years I'd say this is the only part I recognize myself in still.

2009

In 2009 my own practice began. I developed clairaudience at age 14 and I haven't seen colors around people's faces since. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I went back to my room after having dinner with my mom and I heard someone say hello. I found it very strange as this never happened to me before. I walked back to my mom and asked what I should do since she would help all those young children I hung out with cross the other side. (That's what I've been told as I only remember certain events from those times.) She told me to ask what they wanted and when I got the info that they wanted to pass on she told me to call upon one of our old guides to help them out. After all was said and done I stated loudly in my room that I didn't want to follow the path of my grandmother & mother and It hasn't happened since.

Soon after this event I came into contact with my own spirit guide. Her name was Esmee and she looked like she wasn't much older than me. She put me into contact with another spirit so I could develop my ability, but it wasn't as special as it sounds. He would come over a few hours now and then in a week and we would talk about all sorts of things. In between those times Esmee would come over too to check in and through this practice I learned to sense where they were standing or sitting. 

In the same year I met my 'Partner in Crime' as I like to call them. They were the only person who wasn't a spirit (or entity) who I could share this rollercoaster with. At the beginning of our friendship I started to fully move away from Newage thinking. We had an entity who wouldn't leave us alone and I asked my mom what to do. She told me to make a 'dome of light' and to visualize roses in front of my door. I remember my friend & I were confused as to what the roses would do, as they would just trample them. Looking back the dome of light was solid advice, but we just called it a barrier so I didn't quite understand what she meant.

Before The Storm

There was a period before I got into astral travel that was a bit muddy. I was very lonely as a teen and I had only one or two friends who I felt a genuine connection with. The sad part, however, was that they lived far away from me. Around 15 years old I got my first diagnose of autism (PDDNOS) with a side of having an active imagination. I won't lie that I think a lot of the spirits & entities in these times were probably thoughtforms. I barely had people to talk to and I felt alone. I was failing school because I was too unmotivated to pay attention & I felt too much like an outcast. Needless to say, I spent a lot of my time in my room alone. Spirit work became like a support system, but I left it unchecked because I didn't care if it was real or not anymore. I've always questioned my sanity when it comes to my practice and on rare occasions I still do. But, I wanted to feel a part of something. I wanted to feel like someone cared about me and through this I did. The reason I'm using thoughtforms and not imagination is because my 'Partner in Crime' could see them too. It's through this repetition of spirit work my visualization got better over the years.

The Astral Explorer

When I was 17 years old I astral travelled for the first time. I slept on the floor because my bed was broken, but because of that I put my speakers on the piece of wood I would lay upon. One day I was dozing off while softly playing music on my speakers and it's how I have found my music method of astral travel. Vincent, an entity I had met at the time, helped me with 'getting out there' a lot. When it worked I would help him in return with his stuff whenever I was able to go. Through him I met others and through them I met more entities. This gave me places to go to if I wanted to practice. This did come with its own portion of trouble, though. During these times I had to learn self-protection & confidence in asserting dominance. I relied on my companions a lot back then because I still lived at home and I wasn't sure what to do. However, beyond all the bullshit I really enjoyed going to the places that were available to me in the astral. I met new people, learned about their culture and had a grand time doing what I couldn't do in my material form. When the time came I had to adapt because things were happening in my life I'm happy to say I was able to. Astral travel helped immensely with keeping focus.

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